is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
