I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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