One girl and one boy is just not enough.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
