9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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