He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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