I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
