Kiss
Puke
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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