And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
