tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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