What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
