So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize