he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
