so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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