New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
