that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
