So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
