Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
