im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
