but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
