i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
