New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm eating all of the evidence.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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