Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
