oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
