I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
