WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize