I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
