WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
