Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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