I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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