is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
