I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
and she was petting her beer can
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
