Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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