Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
