You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
