There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
