my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think my moral compass just broke
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