Can Purell be used as lube?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
