I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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