I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize