Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
