she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
