every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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