He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize