i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
