I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
