who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
