are you so shy because you have an std?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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