You just made me feel so damn special
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
