big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
