she was so not down for the gang bang
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize