there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
