Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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