At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
