Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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