I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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