so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize