he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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