I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
