rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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