I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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