Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
