Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
