i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we made out on top of his cat.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
