i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
