You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
