i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
