quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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