he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
