I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
What drink are we having for lunch?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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