I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
