I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
