Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
