Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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